Global Warming

Well, it's 0 degrees Fahrenheit outside and my thoughts turn to global warming. Wait til Barry gets in and fixes it. Imagine how cold it will be next year! What a pleasant relief! I think I'll make a gin fizz to drown my sorrows. No, wait, I'll need one of these:

And, I'll need some of these:

Yup, wait til Barry gets in..... no more seltzer water, no paintball guns and no Swiss Cheese.

How many carbon credits do you think will be attached to the purchase of seltzer bottle cartridges?
Come to think of it, active yeast cultures create CO2 in the process of making bread. That's why it's soft and full of holes. Beer, wine, CARBONated drinks.... all gone in an effort to save the planet.
I can't wait.... I think I need a drink.