Today marks the day that a passport or "enhanced" ID is required for a U.S. citizen to reenter the U.S. Yet, our boarders to the south remain open to anyone who wants to wade across the Rio Grande. The fence remains incomplete.
A tax cheat is in charge of the IRS. Other tax cheats are in the President's Cabinet.
An anti-gun judge is about to be appointed to the Supreme Court.
The financial system of the U.S. has collapsed and instead of investigating the root cause and fixing it, Congress has discussed steroid use by baseball players and they are scheduling hearings about collegiate football bowls games.
Trillions of dollars are being spent for "bailouts", yet foreclosures continue and the economy continues its downward spiral.
Legislation has been written to make America energy independent, yet we cannot drill our own oil or build new nuclear power plants. At the same time, we are "assisting" the United Arab Emirates in building nuclear facilities to meet their "increasing energy needs".
Co2 has been declared a "greenhouse gas". We will soon be taxed for the air we breathe.
We will soon have government run health care that will have a efficiency of the Post Office and the compassion of the IRS.
Pravda reports the news more honestly that the media in the U.S. Pravda
I'm hoping that those that voted for change will change their vote in 2010.
Showing posts with label stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stuff. Show all posts
Monday, June 1, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Tea Party Sign
I wish I had the scrotal contents to carry this one:
BARNEY,
KEEP YOUR
FRANK OUT OF
FREDDIE'S FANNIE!
KEEP YOUR
FRANK OUT OF
FREDDIE'S FANNIE!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Ultimate Carbon Solution!
I got it!!! I have the solution to all of our carbon footprints! We can start a dry ice company!
Dry ice is solid CO2! We can collect those nasty carbon molecules and turn them into dry ice! We’ll store them in the old salt mines under Detroit and in caves throughout the world!
As the temperature of the earth rises, we can expose the dry ice and cool the world! Of course, we’ll have to recapture the CO2 and refreeze it.
I’m psyched! This is better than bottled water! This is better than a perpetual motion machine!
Our raw material is free (we can even charge a collection fee!) The end product will cool the world and stop global warming! Talk about a win/win situation!
Dry ice is solid CO2! We can collect those nasty carbon molecules and turn them into dry ice! We’ll store them in the old salt mines under Detroit and in caves throughout the world!
As the temperature of the earth rises, we can expose the dry ice and cool the world! Of course, we’ll have to recapture the CO2 and refreeze it.
I’m psyched! This is better than bottled water! This is better than a perpetual motion machine!
Our raw material is free (we can even charge a collection fee!) The end product will cool the world and stop global warming! Talk about a win/win situation!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Dread Tomato Addiction
Tortured by recent events, I believe it's time for a bit of levity. The "facts" below cannot be denied. Modus ponens and modus tollens be damned. It's too bad the man-made climate change folks never took logic. (This is an oldie, but a goodie...)
by Mark Clifton
92.4% of juvenile delinquents have eaten tomatoes.
87.1% of the adult criminals in penitentiaries throughout the United States have eaten tomatoes.
Informers reliably inform that of all known American communists, 92.3% have eaten tomatoes.
84% of all people killed in automobile accidents during the year 2006 had eaten tomatoes.
Those who object to singling out specific groups for statistical proofs require measurement within a total. Of those people born before the year 1850, regardless of race, color, creed, or caste, and known to have eaten tomatoes, there has been 100% mortality!
In spite of their dread addiction, a few tomato eaters born between 1850 and 1900 still manage to survive, but the clinical picture is poor -- their bones are brittle, their movements feeble, their skin seamed and wrinkled, their eyesight failing, hair falling, and frequently they have lost all their teeth.
Those born between 1900 and 1950 number somewhat more survivors, but the overt signs of the addiction's dread effects differ not in kind, but only in degree of deterioration. Prognostication is not hopeful.
Exhaustive experiment shows that when tomatoes are withheld from an addict, invariably his cravings will cause him to turn to substitutes -- such as oranges, or steak and potatoes. If both tomatoes and all substitutes are persistently withheld, death invariably results within a short time!
The skeptic of apocryphal statistics, or the stubborn non-conformist who will not accept the clearly proved conclusions of others, may conduct his own experiment.
Obtain two dozen tomatoes -- they may actually be purchased within a block of some high schools, or discovered growing in a respected neighbors back yard! Crush them to a pulp in exactly the state they would have if introduced into the stomach, pour the vile juice and pulp into a bowl, and place a goldfish therein. Within minutes the goldfish will be dead!
Those who argue that what affects a goldfish might not apply to a human being may, at their own choice, wish to conduct a direct experiment by fully immersing a live human head into the mixture for a full five minutes...
Best results will be obtained by using an experimental subject who... frequently uses the logic methods demonstrated herein, such as:
a) A politician
b) An advertising copywriter
c) A dedicated moralist. Extremely plentiful in supply, and the experimenter might even obtain a bounty on each from a grateful community.
* * * * *
Note: First published in 1958, in Analog magazine, the dates have been adjusted.
by Mark Clifton
92.4% of juvenile delinquents have eaten tomatoes.
87.1% of the adult criminals in penitentiaries throughout the United States have eaten tomatoes.
Informers reliably inform that of all known American communists, 92.3% have eaten tomatoes.
84% of all people killed in automobile accidents during the year 2006 had eaten tomatoes.
Those who object to singling out specific groups for statistical proofs require measurement within a total. Of those people born before the year 1850, regardless of race, color, creed, or caste, and known to have eaten tomatoes, there has been 100% mortality!
In spite of their dread addiction, a few tomato eaters born between 1850 and 1900 still manage to survive, but the clinical picture is poor -- their bones are brittle, their movements feeble, their skin seamed and wrinkled, their eyesight failing, hair falling, and frequently they have lost all their teeth.
Those born between 1900 and 1950 number somewhat more survivors, but the overt signs of the addiction's dread effects differ not in kind, but only in degree of deterioration. Prognostication is not hopeful.
Exhaustive experiment shows that when tomatoes are withheld from an addict, invariably his cravings will cause him to turn to substitutes -- such as oranges, or steak and potatoes. If both tomatoes and all substitutes are persistently withheld, death invariably results within a short time!
The skeptic of apocryphal statistics, or the stubborn non-conformist who will not accept the clearly proved conclusions of others, may conduct his own experiment.
Obtain two dozen tomatoes -- they may actually be purchased within a block of some high schools, or discovered growing in a respected neighbors back yard! Crush them to a pulp in exactly the state they would have if introduced into the stomach, pour the vile juice and pulp into a bowl, and place a goldfish therein. Within minutes the goldfish will be dead!
Those who argue that what affects a goldfish might not apply to a human being may, at their own choice, wish to conduct a direct experiment by fully immersing a live human head into the mixture for a full five minutes...
Best results will be obtained by using an experimental subject who... frequently uses the logic methods demonstrated herein, such as:
a) A politician
b) An advertising copywriter
c) A dedicated moralist. Extremely plentiful in supply, and the experimenter might even obtain a bounty on each from a grateful community.
* * * * *
Note: First published in 1958, in Analog magazine, the dates have been adjusted.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
What If?
What would the conversation be like if Algore were to meet his maker? Frankly, I don’t think that will ever happen. I believe Algore is as evil as a man can be without killing someone. But, suppose it did happen. Would it sound something like this?
“Hello Al,”
“Hello Lord.”
“What brought you to Me, Al?”
“Well, Lord, I was going to a man-made climate change conference in Brussels when the plane encountered flock of geese.”
“A private jet, Al?”
“Yes, Lord, but I planted a tree in Bolivia to offset the carbon I was creating. Lord, am I here because of all the good works I did to save the planet?”
“No Al, you are here because I want to know why you did what you did.”
“But, Lord, I was doing Your work.”
“No Al, I created you in My image and gave you dominion over the Earth. Instead of using it’s natural resources to improve mankind’s state, you created a world that cannot even support itself.”
“But, the CO2, Lord…. You know it’s a greenhouse gas.”
“Al, water vapor has more of an effect on the climate than CO2. Niagara Falls alone has more to do with the climate than all the cow and sheep flatulence in the entire world. Yet, you convinced New Zeeland to tax the gas from animals.”
“I know Lord, but we can’t control Niagara Falls. Perhaps I could if you could give me a little more time.”
“No Al, you have caused enough damage. It will take a while for humanity to realize you were wrong. What they need now is a plan to use the Earth’s abundance. Frankly Al, there are some that care more about migrating caribou than human life. That concerns Me, Al.”
“Hello Al,”
“Hello Lord.”
“What brought you to Me, Al?”
“Well, Lord, I was going to a man-made climate change conference in Brussels when the plane encountered flock of geese.”
“A private jet, Al?”
“Yes, Lord, but I planted a tree in Bolivia to offset the carbon I was creating. Lord, am I here because of all the good works I did to save the planet?”
“No Al, you are here because I want to know why you did what you did.”
“But, Lord, I was doing Your work.”
“No Al, I created you in My image and gave you dominion over the Earth. Instead of using it’s natural resources to improve mankind’s state, you created a world that cannot even support itself.”
“But, the CO2, Lord…. You know it’s a greenhouse gas.”
“Al, water vapor has more of an effect on the climate than CO2. Niagara Falls alone has more to do with the climate than all the cow and sheep flatulence in the entire world. Yet, you convinced New Zeeland to tax the gas from animals.”
“I know Lord, but we can’t control Niagara Falls. Perhaps I could if you could give me a little more time.”
“No Al, you have caused enough damage. It will take a while for humanity to realize you were wrong. What they need now is a plan to use the Earth’s abundance. Frankly Al, there are some that care more about migrating caribou than human life. That concerns Me, Al.”
Monday, January 19, 2009
Just Venting....
I normally don't listen to the radio between 5-7:00 PM. Mitch Albom has always been a pompous A.H., but at least he was interesting. Since the elections began, he is no longer interesting, he's annoying. I just heard a bit of his program today. He was discussing the newspaper reporter that threw the shoes at President Bush. Apparently the reporter is seeking asylum in Switzerland.
Albom's comments began, "Well, most of the people of Iraq agreed with him.....". I don't know if that is true, but lost is the fact that he would not even be alive today if this happened before the U.S. intervention. He would have been shot on the spot.
"Most of the people" in the U.S. voted for O'Bama. This IS true, but it sure doesn't make it right. Maybe Albom will write a book about him and Oprah can make a movie out of it.
I wonder what the temperature in Belize is right now....
Albom's comments began, "Well, most of the people of Iraq agreed with him.....". I don't know if that is true, but lost is the fact that he would not even be alive today if this happened before the U.S. intervention. He would have been shot on the spot.
"Most of the people" in the U.S. voted for O'Bama. This IS true, but it sure doesn't make it right. Maybe Albom will write a book about him and Oprah can make a movie out of it.
I wonder what the temperature in Belize is right now....
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Climate Change
The handwriting is on the wall. The eco-extremists see that "man-made global warming" can not be sold to the public. It has now morphed into "man-made climate change". It's a stroke of genius really. Now, everything can be blamed on man, not just "global warming".
The list of outcomes will include, but not be limited to:
Temperature (up or down)
Precipitation (snow or rain)
Typhoons and Hurricanes
Humidity (either too high or too low)
Barometric Pressure (up or down)
Wind (too strong or not enough)
For those that may not know it, this is commonly known as the seasons.
The list of outcomes will include, but not be limited to:
Temperature (up or down)
Precipitation (snow or rain)
Typhoons and Hurricanes
Humidity (either too high or too low)
Barometric Pressure (up or down)
Wind (too strong or not enough)
For those that may not know it, this is commonly known as the seasons.
Friday, November 28, 2008
St. Barton's ode:
"I am hurt, but I am not slain. I will lie me down and bleed awhile, then I will rise up and fight again."
I have no idea who St. Barton was, but I feel a kinship with him. I saw these words while looking something up on the web. They caught my eye and they captured my heart.
I have no idea who St. Barton was, but I feel a kinship with him. I saw these words while looking something up on the web. They caught my eye and they captured my heart.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
We Must Tell the King the Sky is Falling!
No need to tell the king. He is here to tell us.
When I think of climate change, I think of traveling from the Bahamas to the North Pole or the seasons going from summer to fall. Unfortunately for some, climate change means the melting of the polar ice caps and the demise of the world, as we know it. King Gustaf of Sweden graced the Dearborn area with his presence on Friday. Meeting with Governor Granholm, the good king proudly announced that Sweden is a perfect example of how a country can be successful while reducing greenhouse gases (CO2). Apparently, the makers of the world famous Swiss army knives have found a way to forge steel and mold plastic without creating these dangerous gases. Chances are; they are trading carbon credits with basket weavers in Indonesia.
Meanwhile, Governor Arnold was re-emphasizing his disagreement with Bush regarding climate change. Arnie has no problem with people pollution (illegal aliens). But, he is very concerned about the potential of polar bears drowning a hundred years from now. BTW, Arnie is much less imposing since he got off the steroids. He even looks a little emaciated now. So, I’m not concerned he will kick my butt for saying this.
John McCain even mentioned climate change during the debates last night. Note to John, et al: Man’s affect on global warming is negligible.
When I think of climate change, I think of traveling from the Bahamas to the North Pole or the seasons going from summer to fall. Unfortunately for some, climate change means the melting of the polar ice caps and the demise of the world, as we know it. King Gustaf of Sweden graced the Dearborn area with his presence on Friday. Meeting with Governor Granholm, the good king proudly announced that Sweden is a perfect example of how a country can be successful while reducing greenhouse gases (CO2). Apparently, the makers of the world famous Swiss army knives have found a way to forge steel and mold plastic without creating these dangerous gases. Chances are; they are trading carbon credits with basket weavers in Indonesia.
Meanwhile, Governor Arnold was re-emphasizing his disagreement with Bush regarding climate change. Arnie has no problem with people pollution (illegal aliens). But, he is very concerned about the potential of polar bears drowning a hundred years from now. BTW, Arnie is much less imposing since he got off the steroids. He even looks a little emaciated now. So, I’m not concerned he will kick my butt for saying this.
John McCain even mentioned climate change during the debates last night. Note to John, et al: Man’s affect on global warming is negligible.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Scenes We'd Like to See
Here’s a movie plot idea that you will never see.
With all the concerns about carbon credits and carbon footprints, what if Hollywood (great promoters of the scam) was to do a movie about making a movie without a carbon footprint?
Here’s the scenario:
An environmentally conscious Producer wants to make a movie with no carbon footprint.
Action (blow ‘em up) sequences are considered, but not embraced because of the billowing black smoke.
Movie lights are deemed unusable because of the high amounts of electricity required to run them.
Catering trucks are banned because of the CO2 output.
The Producer tries desperately to find someone to trade carbon credits with (i.e. basket weavers in Indonesia).
Ultimately, the Producer comes to the conclusion that carbon dioxide is not such a bad thing. We all exhale CO2 and plants use it to make more O2 for us.
Too bad we’ll never see it.
With all the concerns about carbon credits and carbon footprints, what if Hollywood (great promoters of the scam) was to do a movie about making a movie without a carbon footprint?
Here’s the scenario:
An environmentally conscious Producer wants to make a movie with no carbon footprint.
Action (blow ‘em up) sequences are considered, but not embraced because of the billowing black smoke.
Movie lights are deemed unusable because of the high amounts of electricity required to run them.
Catering trucks are banned because of the CO2 output.
The Producer tries desperately to find someone to trade carbon credits with (i.e. basket weavers in Indonesia).
Ultimately, the Producer comes to the conclusion that carbon dioxide is not such a bad thing. We all exhale CO2 and plants use it to make more O2 for us.
Too bad we’ll never see it.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Plan to foreclose
Have you heard the latest amoral enterprise? It's plantoforeclose.com http://plantoforeclose.com/index.html
Here's their selling point: "You're going to lose your house anyway, plan to foreclose. Live in your own house rent free for up to 18 months."
The expert they quote is a nut-case financial adviser on CNBC.
This reminds me of the "Don't Waste Your Money" segment on channel 7 in Detroit. She advised people not to waste the Economic Stimulus Package money on new purchases. She recommended paying down credit card debts and mortgages; the exact opposite of the intent of the bill.
plantoforeclose.com is bizarre concept that should be outlawed, not promoted. People will be foreclosed on without planning. We don't need people promoting it.
Here's their selling point: "You're going to lose your house anyway, plan to foreclose. Live in your own house rent free for up to 18 months."
The expert they quote is a nut-case financial adviser on CNBC.
This reminds me of the "Don't Waste Your Money" segment on channel 7 in Detroit. She advised people not to waste the Economic Stimulus Package money on new purchases. She recommended paying down credit card debts and mortgages; the exact opposite of the intent of the bill.
plantoforeclose.com is bizarre concept that should be outlawed, not promoted. People will be foreclosed on without planning. We don't need people promoting it.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Ant Bonnie
Can someone tell me when it became normal to pronounce aunt “ahnt”? This is another one that happened while I was napping. I’m 58 and have called my aunts “ant” my whole life. People that can’t even conjugate a sentence want to appear sophisticated and pronounce the word “ahnt”.
Just some suggestions.....
1) Stop using double negatives.
2) Start using the proper verb tense.
3) Then, start calling your aunt, "ahnt".
You'll sound a lot more intelligent and sophisticated.
Just some suggestions.....
1) Stop using double negatives.
2) Start using the proper verb tense.
3) Then, start calling your aunt, "ahnt".
You'll sound a lot more intelligent and sophisticated.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Fear of Becoming a Red Neck?
Baseball hats serve a purpose. They keep the sun off the top of your head and shade your eyes from the sun. Today, some wearers appear to have stepped off the set of an Our Gang Show. The brim isn’t coming close to shading his eyes. To say it looks stupid would be an understatement.
The rest of the cap wearers look like catchers on a baseball team that just took their masks off. Jeff Foxworthy must have put a real fear into these folks. They are guarding the back of their necks from the rays of the sun.
The rest of the cap wearers look like catchers on a baseball team that just took their masks off. Jeff Foxworthy must have put a real fear into these folks. They are guarding the back of their necks from the rays of the sun.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Straight Pipes
Did noise abatement laws change when I was asleep, or are motorcycle riders now “thumbing their noses” at the law? It is rare these days to see (hear) a bike with a muffler. Yea, I know, it’s a “safety thing” to be able to hear the biker coming. But, I don’t need to hear it from a ½ mile away.
There’s probably not many bikers out there that can read, so could you do me a favor and tell them that there is law against disturbing the peace? Someone needs to do it, since law enforcement won’t.
There’s probably not many bikers out there that can read, so could you do me a favor and tell them that there is law against disturbing the peace? Someone needs to do it, since law enforcement won’t.
Pull Your Pants Up!
Wearing pants with the belt line around the thighs is another phenomenon that defies sensibility and practicality. Those that practice this bizarre habit walk like a one year old with a load in his diapers.
I love to see perps running from the scene of a crime and be tripped by their falling pants.
I love to see perps running from the scene of a crime and be tripped by their falling pants.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Bed Hair
Something that happened while I was napping is “bed hair”. People actually pay money to make them look like they just got out of bed. Many movie stars, TV personalities and entertainers have embraced this as the norm. It must have begun when one of the aforementioned people was late for an appointment.
A child told the king he had no clothes. Someone must tell these folks that bed hair is not a good look.
A child told the king he had no clothes. Someone must tell these folks that bed hair is not a good look.
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