I wish Babel Fish translated Latin.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Another Brick in the Road to Bizzarro World
I just heard on the news today that Barry doesn't want to get involved with the elections in Iraq because he respects their sovereignty.
Does that mean he plans to close the southern boarder and round up illegal aliens? No, he doesn't respect America's sovereignty.
Does that mean he plans to close the southern boarder and round up illegal aliens? No, he doesn't respect America's sovereignty.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Welcome to Bizzarro World
Today marks the day that a passport or "enhanced" ID is required for a U.S. citizen to reenter the U.S. Yet, our boarders to the south remain open to anyone who wants to wade across the Rio Grande. The fence remains incomplete.
A tax cheat is in charge of the IRS. Other tax cheats are in the President's Cabinet.
An anti-gun judge is about to be appointed to the Supreme Court.
The financial system of the U.S. has collapsed and instead of investigating the root cause and fixing it, Congress has discussed steroid use by baseball players and they are scheduling hearings about collegiate football bowls games.
Trillions of dollars are being spent for "bailouts", yet foreclosures continue and the economy continues its downward spiral.
Legislation has been written to make America energy independent, yet we cannot drill our own oil or build new nuclear power plants. At the same time, we are "assisting" the United Arab Emirates in building nuclear facilities to meet their "increasing energy needs".
Co2 has been declared a "greenhouse gas". We will soon be taxed for the air we breathe.
We will soon have government run health care that will have a efficiency of the Post Office and the compassion of the IRS.
Pravda reports the news more honestly that the media in the U.S. Pravda
I'm hoping that those that voted for change will change their vote in 2010.
A tax cheat is in charge of the IRS. Other tax cheats are in the President's Cabinet.
An anti-gun judge is about to be appointed to the Supreme Court.
The financial system of the U.S. has collapsed and instead of investigating the root cause and fixing it, Congress has discussed steroid use by baseball players and they are scheduling hearings about collegiate football bowls games.
Trillions of dollars are being spent for "bailouts", yet foreclosures continue and the economy continues its downward spiral.
Legislation has been written to make America energy independent, yet we cannot drill our own oil or build new nuclear power plants. At the same time, we are "assisting" the United Arab Emirates in building nuclear facilities to meet their "increasing energy needs".
Co2 has been declared a "greenhouse gas". We will soon be taxed for the air we breathe.
We will soon have government run health care that will have a efficiency of the Post Office and the compassion of the IRS.
Pravda reports the news more honestly that the media in the U.S. Pravda
I'm hoping that those that voted for change will change their vote in 2010.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Obama Youth Group
Shades of things to come? No, it's happening now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mvP0ArKIGY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mvP0ArKIGY
Monday, April 6, 2009
Tea Party Sign
I wish I had the scrotal contents to carry this one:
BARNEY,
KEEP YOUR
FRANK OUT OF
FREDDIE'S FANNIE!
KEEP YOUR
FRANK OUT OF
FREDDIE'S FANNIE!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Definitions...
Recession is when your neighbor loses his job.
Depression is when you lose yours.
And, recovery will be when Obama loses his.
Depression is when you lose yours.
And, recovery will be when Obama loses his.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Ultimate Carbon Solution!
I got it!!! I have the solution to all of our carbon footprints! We can start a dry ice company!
Dry ice is solid CO2! We can collect those nasty carbon molecules and turn them into dry ice! We’ll store them in the old salt mines under Detroit and in caves throughout the world!
As the temperature of the earth rises, we can expose the dry ice and cool the world! Of course, we’ll have to recapture the CO2 and refreeze it.
I’m psyched! This is better than bottled water! This is better than a perpetual motion machine!
Our raw material is free (we can even charge a collection fee!) The end product will cool the world and stop global warming! Talk about a win/win situation!
Dry ice is solid CO2! We can collect those nasty carbon molecules and turn them into dry ice! We’ll store them in the old salt mines under Detroit and in caves throughout the world!
As the temperature of the earth rises, we can expose the dry ice and cool the world! Of course, we’ll have to recapture the CO2 and refreeze it.
I’m psyched! This is better than bottled water! This is better than a perpetual motion machine!
Our raw material is free (we can even charge a collection fee!) The end product will cool the world and stop global warming! Talk about a win/win situation!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The Dread Tomato Addiction
Tortured by recent events, I believe it's time for a bit of levity. The "facts" below cannot be denied. Modus ponens and modus tollens be damned. It's too bad the man-made climate change folks never took logic. (This is an oldie, but a goodie...)
by Mark Clifton
92.4% of juvenile delinquents have eaten tomatoes.
87.1% of the adult criminals in penitentiaries throughout the United States have eaten tomatoes.
Informers reliably inform that of all known American communists, 92.3% have eaten tomatoes.
84% of all people killed in automobile accidents during the year 2006 had eaten tomatoes.
Those who object to singling out specific groups for statistical proofs require measurement within a total. Of those people born before the year 1850, regardless of race, color, creed, or caste, and known to have eaten tomatoes, there has been 100% mortality!
In spite of their dread addiction, a few tomato eaters born between 1850 and 1900 still manage to survive, but the clinical picture is poor -- their bones are brittle, their movements feeble, their skin seamed and wrinkled, their eyesight failing, hair falling, and frequently they have lost all their teeth.
Those born between 1900 and 1950 number somewhat more survivors, but the overt signs of the addiction's dread effects differ not in kind, but only in degree of deterioration. Prognostication is not hopeful.
Exhaustive experiment shows that when tomatoes are withheld from an addict, invariably his cravings will cause him to turn to substitutes -- such as oranges, or steak and potatoes. If both tomatoes and all substitutes are persistently withheld, death invariably results within a short time!
The skeptic of apocryphal statistics, or the stubborn non-conformist who will not accept the clearly proved conclusions of others, may conduct his own experiment.
Obtain two dozen tomatoes -- they may actually be purchased within a block of some high schools, or discovered growing in a respected neighbors back yard! Crush them to a pulp in exactly the state they would have if introduced into the stomach, pour the vile juice and pulp into a bowl, and place a goldfish therein. Within minutes the goldfish will be dead!
Those who argue that what affects a goldfish might not apply to a human being may, at their own choice, wish to conduct a direct experiment by fully immersing a live human head into the mixture for a full five minutes...
Best results will be obtained by using an experimental subject who... frequently uses the logic methods demonstrated herein, such as:
a) A politician
b) An advertising copywriter
c) A dedicated moralist. Extremely plentiful in supply, and the experimenter might even obtain a bounty on each from a grateful community.
* * * * *
Note: First published in 1958, in Analog magazine, the dates have been adjusted.
by Mark Clifton
92.4% of juvenile delinquents have eaten tomatoes.
87.1% of the adult criminals in penitentiaries throughout the United States have eaten tomatoes.
Informers reliably inform that of all known American communists, 92.3% have eaten tomatoes.
84% of all people killed in automobile accidents during the year 2006 had eaten tomatoes.
Those who object to singling out specific groups for statistical proofs require measurement within a total. Of those people born before the year 1850, regardless of race, color, creed, or caste, and known to have eaten tomatoes, there has been 100% mortality!
In spite of their dread addiction, a few tomato eaters born between 1850 and 1900 still manage to survive, but the clinical picture is poor -- their bones are brittle, their movements feeble, their skin seamed and wrinkled, their eyesight failing, hair falling, and frequently they have lost all their teeth.
Those born between 1900 and 1950 number somewhat more survivors, but the overt signs of the addiction's dread effects differ not in kind, but only in degree of deterioration. Prognostication is not hopeful.
Exhaustive experiment shows that when tomatoes are withheld from an addict, invariably his cravings will cause him to turn to substitutes -- such as oranges, or steak and potatoes. If both tomatoes and all substitutes are persistently withheld, death invariably results within a short time!
The skeptic of apocryphal statistics, or the stubborn non-conformist who will not accept the clearly proved conclusions of others, may conduct his own experiment.
Obtain two dozen tomatoes -- they may actually be purchased within a block of some high schools, or discovered growing in a respected neighbors back yard! Crush them to a pulp in exactly the state they would have if introduced into the stomach, pour the vile juice and pulp into a bowl, and place a goldfish therein. Within minutes the goldfish will be dead!
Those who argue that what affects a goldfish might not apply to a human being may, at their own choice, wish to conduct a direct experiment by fully immersing a live human head into the mixture for a full five minutes...
Best results will be obtained by using an experimental subject who... frequently uses the logic methods demonstrated herein, such as:
a) A politician
b) An advertising copywriter
c) A dedicated moralist. Extremely plentiful in supply, and the experimenter might even obtain a bounty on each from a grateful community.
* * * * *
Note: First published in 1958, in Analog magazine, the dates have been adjusted.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Stimulate This!
Read it and weep.....
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/graphic/2009/02/01/GR2009020100154.html
Included in all the pork, the package contains $6.1 billions dollars binned to "Other". I wonder what that is.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/graphic/2009/02/01/GR2009020100154.html
Included in all the pork, the package contains $6.1 billions dollars binned to "Other". I wonder what that is.
Green Shirts
Included in O’Bama’s campaign rhetoric was the promise of jobs. The rage was from 1 million to 3 million jobs that will be added to the American economy. Even considering the stated areas of health care, infrastructure and the like, actual numbers will still come up far short of the 3 million projections.
When the carbon credit/cap and trade laws come to pass, who will enforce these laws, rules and regulations? Tah-dah! The Green Shirts!
We can’t expect current staff of law enforcement to take on the additional task. Reminiscent of the “Brown Shirts” the Nazis used, the “Green Shirts” will patrol with streets, looking for offenders and turning them in. These men and women will be feared above all others. Sniffing out Sunday afternoon barbeques, tickets will be issued and fines will be paid. A search warrant will not be required, since the green shirt will have probable cause due to the smell of burning mesquite and sizzling t-bones.
IMHO, 3 million people will not be enough. O’Bama will overachieve his goal with Algore at his side.
When the carbon credit/cap and trade laws come to pass, who will enforce these laws, rules and regulations? Tah-dah! The Green Shirts!
We can’t expect current staff of law enforcement to take on the additional task. Reminiscent of the “Brown Shirts” the Nazis used, the “Green Shirts” will patrol with streets, looking for offenders and turning them in. These men and women will be feared above all others. Sniffing out Sunday afternoon barbeques, tickets will be issued and fines will be paid. A search warrant will not be required, since the green shirt will have probable cause due to the smell of burning mesquite and sizzling t-bones.
IMHO, 3 million people will not be enough. O’Bama will overachieve his goal with Algore at his side.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
O'Bama's Cabinet
I'm just wondering if all the Cabinet positions have been filled. Frankly, I welcome all the appointees that owe back taxes. As a matter of fact, I think it should be a requirement in order to be considered for a Cabinet position. This will do a lot to reduce the public debt.
It does beg the question: Would these folks be paying these taxes if they hadn't been "caught"?
They are fine role models for the general public.
It does beg the question: Would these folks be paying these taxes if they hadn't been "caught"?
They are fine role models for the general public.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
What If?
What would the conversation be like if Algore were to meet his maker? Frankly, I don’t think that will ever happen. I believe Algore is as evil as a man can be without killing someone. But, suppose it did happen. Would it sound something like this?
“Hello Al,”
“Hello Lord.”
“What brought you to Me, Al?”
“Well, Lord, I was going to a man-made climate change conference in Brussels when the plane encountered flock of geese.”
“A private jet, Al?”
“Yes, Lord, but I planted a tree in Bolivia to offset the carbon I was creating. Lord, am I here because of all the good works I did to save the planet?”
“No Al, you are here because I want to know why you did what you did.”
“But, Lord, I was doing Your work.”
“No Al, I created you in My image and gave you dominion over the Earth. Instead of using it’s natural resources to improve mankind’s state, you created a world that cannot even support itself.”
“But, the CO2, Lord…. You know it’s a greenhouse gas.”
“Al, water vapor has more of an effect on the climate than CO2. Niagara Falls alone has more to do with the climate than all the cow and sheep flatulence in the entire world. Yet, you convinced New Zeeland to tax the gas from animals.”
“I know Lord, but we can’t control Niagara Falls. Perhaps I could if you could give me a little more time.”
“No Al, you have caused enough damage. It will take a while for humanity to realize you were wrong. What they need now is a plan to use the Earth’s abundance. Frankly Al, there are some that care more about migrating caribou than human life. That concerns Me, Al.”
“Hello Al,”
“Hello Lord.”
“What brought you to Me, Al?”
“Well, Lord, I was going to a man-made climate change conference in Brussels when the plane encountered flock of geese.”
“A private jet, Al?”
“Yes, Lord, but I planted a tree in Bolivia to offset the carbon I was creating. Lord, am I here because of all the good works I did to save the planet?”
“No Al, you are here because I want to know why you did what you did.”
“But, Lord, I was doing Your work.”
“No Al, I created you in My image and gave you dominion over the Earth. Instead of using it’s natural resources to improve mankind’s state, you created a world that cannot even support itself.”
“But, the CO2, Lord…. You know it’s a greenhouse gas.”
“Al, water vapor has more of an effect on the climate than CO2. Niagara Falls alone has more to do with the climate than all the cow and sheep flatulence in the entire world. Yet, you convinced New Zeeland to tax the gas from animals.”
“I know Lord, but we can’t control Niagara Falls. Perhaps I could if you could give me a little more time.”
“No Al, you have caused enough damage. It will take a while for humanity to realize you were wrong. What they need now is a plan to use the Earth’s abundance. Frankly Al, there are some that care more about migrating caribou than human life. That concerns Me, Al.”
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Shovels at the Ready
More than hitting the ground running, the Obama-ites are rivaling a tire smoking dragster launch as they deploy the economic Him-ulus package. "We don't have a moment to spare" is the chant spoken while setting out to pack as much as possible into the exploitable honeymoon period.
A complete, straightforward list of the Rescue Package contents has been impossible to find; but from what I have seen, the strategy is depressingly familiar. Instead of filling up the canal lock to lift the essential boats, the cash flood is instead being diverted off to water the many garden patches of government perceived "good guys" and designated winners. Head Start, the National Endowment for the Arts, infrastructure related to powerful unions, $300m for sexually transmitted disease education; you know the buzz phrase, all those "shovel ready" projects.
What are they shoveling?
Sadly, it looks like the S.O.S. in response to a national SOS.
A complete, straightforward list of the Rescue Package contents has been impossible to find; but from what I have seen, the strategy is depressingly familiar. Instead of filling up the canal lock to lift the essential boats, the cash flood is instead being diverted off to water the many garden patches of government perceived "good guys" and designated winners. Head Start, the National Endowment for the Arts, infrastructure related to powerful unions, $300m for sexually transmitted disease education; you know the buzz phrase, all those "shovel ready" projects.
What are they shoveling?
Sadly, it looks like the S.O.S. in response to a national SOS.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Just Venting....
I normally don't listen to the radio between 5-7:00 PM. Mitch Albom has always been a pompous A.H., but at least he was interesting. Since the elections began, he is no longer interesting, he's annoying. I just heard a bit of his program today. He was discussing the newspaper reporter that threw the shoes at President Bush. Apparently the reporter is seeking asylum in Switzerland.
Albom's comments began, "Well, most of the people of Iraq agreed with him.....". I don't know if that is true, but lost is the fact that he would not even be alive today if this happened before the U.S. intervention. He would have been shot on the spot.
"Most of the people" in the U.S. voted for O'Bama. This IS true, but it sure doesn't make it right. Maybe Albom will write a book about him and Oprah can make a movie out of it.
I wonder what the temperature in Belize is right now....
Albom's comments began, "Well, most of the people of Iraq agreed with him.....". I don't know if that is true, but lost is the fact that he would not even be alive today if this happened before the U.S. intervention. He would have been shot on the spot.
"Most of the people" in the U.S. voted for O'Bama. This IS true, but it sure doesn't make it right. Maybe Albom will write a book about him and Oprah can make a movie out of it.
I wonder what the temperature in Belize is right now....
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Climate Change
The handwriting is on the wall. The eco-extremists see that "man-made global warming" can not be sold to the public. It has now morphed into "man-made climate change". It's a stroke of genius really. Now, everything can be blamed on man, not just "global warming".
The list of outcomes will include, but not be limited to:
Temperature (up or down)
Precipitation (snow or rain)
Typhoons and Hurricanes
Humidity (either too high or too low)
Barometric Pressure (up or down)
Wind (too strong or not enough)
For those that may not know it, this is commonly known as the seasons.
The list of outcomes will include, but not be limited to:
Temperature (up or down)
Precipitation (snow or rain)
Typhoons and Hurricanes
Humidity (either too high or too low)
Barometric Pressure (up or down)
Wind (too strong or not enough)
For those that may not know it, this is commonly known as the seasons.
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